September 28, 2009

simply me

I hang up the phone and pause to contemplate words undeserved, words spoken in admiration but that have left me pondering once again their concealed meaning…

‘Oh, you’re a super-mom, a super-woman!  You’re simply amazing!’

Is this really true?  And what does this mean anyway :: have I somehow reached a status that we as women and mothers are to try and attain?  Who makes these decisions….

My spirit is disturbed at the thoughts shared.   It often rattles me when an outsider receives a peek into our daily routine, our pattern & rhythm of life and makes such a declaration.  I’m not amazing.  I am just simply me.  Just attempting to live out our priorities in a God-honoring way, what feels right for our family.  There are no claims that what we do or how I function works for all, but at times others seem to think so.  While I know how to receive and even welcome compliments, I still cringe :: for I want to inspire, not intimidate.  They receive a message not intended.

It’s flattering and can lead to pride, oh I’ve been there.  When others try to emulate and copy, the heart swells with selfish thoughts leading to an uppity disposition that has trapped so many.  It’s a snare, pride is.  Ugly and unrelenting in it’s trap.  I don’t want that.

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And yet, I am to be me.  Living out the plans and purposes He designed, trying to be a good steward of the gifts He has given.  Exploring the interests that cause a spark in my mind or heart.  I didn’t ask for these gifts—they do not belong to me ultimately :: and my creative pursuits are wide and many…

but that’s just who I am.  It’s simply me.

While there are many aspects we should hold in common, we’re each to walk in the unique path set before us, to develop our abilities and talents, to share with others the gifts bestowed upon us.  We should not push our own expectations onto others, but neither should we shrink back because others have yet to accept who they are uniquely.  Encourage spirits though, for they only struggle with an ailment common to us all at one time or another.

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What is the right path for you?  Is it one of quiet in this season or do you sense a wild stampede of ideas, rushing to the surface to make themselves known?  Perhaps this is a time for retreat from previous plans, or on the other hand…it’s time to step forward :: knees shaking, heart trembling but a readiness to pursue & move ahead. 

Dare to be who you were created to be.  Live fully and uniquely to how you’ve been wired.   Really, it’s the only way.  But, for His glory, oh yes….only for His glory.

“Not to us, O LORD, not to us
       but to your name be the glory,
       because of your love and faithfulness.”

                                                                     Psalm 115:1

 

photo: last weekend’s project~homemade tic-tac-toe board for game time fun (idea came from here)


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