I’m a reformed perfectionist.
You know, the Type A first-born sort of thing. But much bigger in my case. This is a result of a combination of factors from personality (God-given!) to home life growing up. Childhood for me was full of an abundance of rules and structure, but I don’t necessarily see all of this as completely out of line.
My mother I’m convinced is the original FlyLady and could have made some money in her day. Once-a-month cooking or freezing food ahead of time? Yep, she missed publicizing that one too as this was a norm in our household long before the books & press. You see what I mean…we were that kind of family and I was that kind of kid.
So, what then is the big deal? Is the desire for keeping surroundings uncluttered or organized an issue?
Being ultra-detailed and a planner a problem?
Well, it can be…
At the Relevant Conference last weekend, Ann Voskamp (probably my favorite modern day writer), spoke some profound words that has me pondering and thinking much.
“We do not achieve our identity in Christ, we receive it.” Her words that caused my pen to pause and my heart to beat loudly as I recalled times past :: of the chains that hindered freedom.
The former problem of perfectionism in my life is wrapped up in those few words. Somehow the truth became twisted as I was caught in the trap of believing that if all was in order (and if I could keep it this way nearly all of the time), then the approval of man and God was in the bag.
Big. Fat. Lie. And yet, this way of thinking dominated my life for years. Achieving and not receiving, only to be left soul-tired and weary. This pattern of thought bears little, or let me be bold and say NO fruit.
So how did I unwind and unravel this mindset?
I didn’t. But I did have a head-on-collision with GRACE…
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the whole series:
part one: a reformed perfectionist
part two: perfectionism is insecurity. insecurity is fear.
final thoughts: in the grip of grace
